BARBARA SHALALA
Sickened by hot yoga’s sweaty uglies, this ice queen found peace in the Yukon where she could teach yoga the way she wanted to: COLD. Nourished by the harshness of the world, she has come back to the Big Smoke to smite the soulless hippie. Put a contact lens on your third eye and liberate yourself from the lavender-infused cult of boogie shorts and #fit updates or Shalala will put you in corpse pose for good, Nams(t)ay'in?
SHREEKA
Part witch, part siren, and all evil, she lives in the dredge ponds outside of Dawson City where she lures unsuspecting miners to their pebbly deaths. Known for her eardrum-bursting shrieks and elaborate incantations, this bitch witch has one purpose: to wreak havoc.
DIRTY OL' MAUDE
A gunslingin' whiskey chugging , heavy footed ex propsector who spat on the cheap dreams of men digging for gold in the Klondike. A woman of 'loose' morals', she's been banned from the town of Dawson and created a home for herself on the edge of town known as the Hobo Mansion. Maude now makes sinful whiskey out of a bathub in the back of the house. Her signature move is the Klondike Stomp, however, she's a firey loose cannon - you never do know what she'll pull on ya.
BIG JODY MUFFERAW
Born with a black eye, Big Jody is a crowd favourite. A lumber-obsessed powerhouse from the Ottawa Valley, Jody is a Canadian hero known for her finishing move "The Log Driver's Waltz" when she rolls opponents off of the ring like a log of white pine. You ain't seen muff 'till you've seen Mufferaw.
DOMINA KALIKA
To worship is to lose oneself to the divine. Hi! Priestess of the Montreal night and underbelly, I will show you how to submit yourself with grace. Feel love in cruelty and do not bother with the fight. With a gentle hand or stinging lash, I will instill the piety of Enheduanna in you- righteous saint of sex and war. Our time together is a confessional. Weep at My feet because I know your secret, you already belong to Me. Repent and lay full and spent in the arms of a decadent Goddess.True freedom is to hand one's self over.
SWEETIE!
Sweetie had a tough time growing up in the States. Despite being a classic girl next door who wouldn’t hurt a fly and doesn’t have a mean bone in her body, she was constantly a target. Sweetie was bullied and teased relentlessly for being a geek, despite all her efforts to make friends and fit in. When she graduated from high school, she decided to attend university in Canada. It was her chance to start fresh and reinvent herself as a cool international girl in a place where nobody knew her, surrounded by kind, polite people. When asked about those painful childhood memories, she says she’s “totes over it,” but there is speculation that she is totes not over it, and uses her nice girl front to do mean girl backstabbing. Watch out if you get in the ring with Sweetie—she just might kill you with kindness.
ANDY KOCKMAN
Andy is coming out ofthe woodwork for the Hogtown Throwdown. Since he did hold the world champion ofwomen’s wrestling t-shirt he believes it is his duty to support these ladies inthe ring. Kockman’s wrestling days have been over for some time but he mightnot be able to help himself with the sweet and salty smell of angry sweatydames in the house.
DYKEMASTER 3000
Dyke Master is everyones favorite super hero, but she's hard to catch skating around the ring. Don't stare directly at her mesmerizing yet deadly laser poon because it could draw you in close enough for her to sit on your face for the silencer. Possible mercy - plaid shirts, dyke mullets.
BEAVER FEVER
Giardiasis, commonly known as the dreaded Beaver Fever, infected this unsuspecting swimmer taking a dip in the Klondike River. Now she is slowly turning into an undead beaver, unable to control her insatiable need to gnaw on anything resembling a tree, including human limbs. Giant, rabid, and disgustingly ill, can anyone reverse the curse before it's too late?!
LADY BOY
Growing up, Lady Boy felt more comfortable trying on her father's suit and tie than her mother's Sunday dresses. The Big City of Toronto became a safe haven where Lady Boy learned to express her inner butch through the Art of Drag. Empowered and ready to rage, this androgynous fighter is looking to is looking to smash gender binaries and crush perceptions of a “traditional” Lady Wrestler. Watch out Girls, Lady Boy will break your arm…and your heart.
Born in 1899 is 115 years old. She now brags about her years of experience. She began wrestling at the age of 15 and has 99 years of experience under her belt. As the last living member from, The Freedom Fighters League during the First World War, Betty Whoop is historical treasure. Her very first signature move, which she still uses today is the classic, doomsday bunkie. Betty's more recently known for her backbreaker and her walker stopper. Betty is also well known for her outlandish baked goods.
CITIZEN A
Determined, honest and clever, Citizen A is a political candidate from Toronto. Though she enters the ring to “wrestle” ideas and policy, her back to basics brand of politics and commitment to action are transformed into wrestling readiness with a swift roll up of the sleeves. “If the people want me to wrestle, I’ll wrestle,” she declares. Look out for her signature move, “The Platform”, and a special appearance by “The Franchise”.
SHESQUATCH
Half beast, half babe, Shesquatch roams the wilds, running from the camera flashes and obnoxious cryptozoologists. Drawn from her forest home by the panpipes and bongos of some fools on the dome, this big footed lady of myth and speculation is stepping out of the shadows to take the Hobo Showdown girls down a peg. Watch out for her mystical forest ways, and for god’s sake, don’t mention her unibrow. Her moves are too yetilicious for you baby- she’ll squash you!
THE DUMP BRIDE
It was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. They were set to be married at the Dawson City Dump where they first met. But when he stood her up at the alter, she was so heartbroken she jumped right into the burn pile. She survived, but burnt, by the fire and by her lover. Now she's out seeking revenge on that whore who must've stole her man. Here comes the dump bride!
SOUR-TOE-BO
One look at this gnarly little thing and you’ll be sweating: she’ll smack talk and smack down. This little lady has been soaking in whisky all winter and is ready dive into the ring to show all these summer cheechakos how to really slam ‘em back and spit ‘em out. So ladies of Dawson if you think you can really throw down, be prepared to join the club of dismembered digits left crying in their beers the day after Sour-Toe-Bo
KID VICIOUS
people call me kid vicious because i always won da fights that i was paid for under da bridge. i come from Chicoutimi Quebec and me and my dog Gustav have been train 'opping across canada. i 'ave been fruit picking in the vallée Okanagan and dat is where i 'eard about Dawson. I 'ave been playing my bango by the riviere but no peoples give me change. i only need enough for a colt 45. After i will win dis fight i will hitch hike to Burning man. can you roll me a cigarette?
ANNA NOSKOV
She is Russia's greatest female wrestler. Having annihilated the competition in the mother country, she has come to the Yukon to see if there is anyone who will cause her to lift more than her pinky finger.
GRIZZLY GIRL
Abandoned by her parents at the age of 7, Grizzly Girl became tight with a family of grizzlies. Treated as their own kind, they taught her the ways of the Klondike woods: how to fight like a bear.
